I am not at that job anymore that I took one year ago. Partly because I want to be an entrepreneur, and partly because I am Deaf and they were unaccommodating. I thought they might be willing to work with me due to their progressive, liberal stance on social issues. I won’t get into details about the Disability Discrimination now because I’m not sure if maybe revealing this information could be used against me. In fact, all the while I had been employed at that job, I wanted to blog about issues I was having. But I was afraid that I would get in trouble for expressing my view of things regarding being Deaf in the Workplace.
My experience in the past, with 99.9% of my interactions in life being with hearing people, taught me that they don’t want to hear about MY WAY of doing things, being DEAF! Being given hearing aids and no sign language, the message I got was ‘act hearing’. I had no Deaf peers or mentors. I never learned how to BE DEAF! I only got in trouble all the time and never understood what the problem with everybody was.
I suppose because I can talk, that was used being against me. Co-workers then assumed I could hear and would get mad at me for not ‘doing my job’ (which was assumed that I heard my job task for the day, as they passed by behind me, speaking at me and I didn’t hear, for example). So perhaps I should stop doing hearing people the favor of trying to communicate with them if they are just going to be upset when I don’t hear everything. From now on, I will be Deaf (not speak or listen) and so if I hear or speak, it will be appreciated as a favor, instead of taken for granted. Before they would see the empty half of glass wondering why I didn’t act more ‘hearing’. But as I learn to act more Deaf, they can’t then get mad at me for not hearing, and will instead see the full half of the glass, appreciating when we do connect.
Well, so I got this driving job now and it is easier and less stressful. It was so exhausting trying to hear people at my last job and nobody understood how it took me so much more energy to do an eight hour shift actively listening. I just want to be myself and life should be easier as I learn to accept myself more and more. I wish society wouldn’t try to make me be hearing, but rather accept me for who I am.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Deaf are one of the last minorities to really be accepted. It seems OK to judge deafness as bad and everybody acts like it is OK to do cochlear implants in babies, etc. Well, the fight will continue as long as Deaf People live. My life continues, and day to day I just want to feel good and get along. But as long as hearing people continue to only expect to communicate with me on their terms, apparently I need to shake my head and correct them. Exhausting work. Maybe that’s why there are so few Deaf Militants. Is it a losing battle?
Tell me what you think. Comment and share. Thanks!
barefoot runner, deafhood advocate, holographic projection, off-grid aspirant
david@brotheryellow.com
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I saw this post on Facebook. Sad story but love how you express yourself. I am a little bit worried myself when I finally go back to work how my disability will help or hinder the company.
I look forward to more of your writings.
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I was very saddened to read about how people treated you in your previous job. I myself am hard of hearing have had in the past similar experiences to yourself. i had to tell myself that it was their ignorance towards me that was the problem and not the other way round. I do not sign (although i will be taking a BSL course soon) and rely on lip reading. I now work in a mainstream school as a teaching assistant for Hearing Impaired students and absolutely love it. I give the students friendly advice on how to cope in lessons and how to deal with bullying, you could say that I am their mentor too. My aim in life is to make them believe in themselves with a “Can do” attitude in life. I feel that if you have belief in yourself then so will others.
Of course I know it is always an uphill struggle to be accepted but I do believe that there are some good people in life willing to give you a chance. I try not to be bitter about my disability because this attitude can be sensed as a negative thing about me and could make me appear as someone “with a chip on my shoulder”.
Times are hard enough trying to get a job and keeping it these days so I cling on to mine for dear life. I am so glad that you found a job that you can do without all of that awful stress of worrying if you heard someone correctly and I hope you find peace and happiness doing it. Good Luck x
You have to advocate for yourself. You have to make it known to your boss and your co-workers why they need to look at you when they talk to you. I have not had problems in my job for years. We can’t afford to be meek and worry about fitting in. You fit in better when you make your needs known.
I agree that society need to be more accepting with regards to all of us for who we are, and at the same time, have the technology available – for our discretion.
I think right now, there are so many “miracle” stories about deaf / hard of hearing people being able to hear – with hearing aids, cochlear implants, etc… and they are able to talk as well, that the general public is very puzzled why Deaf people are resistant. The opportunities are available and we’re saying nope?! Why?? Other people needing assistance – such as prosthetic limbs – these assistive devices are welcome and used gratefully, so it does make sense why the world is perplexed that Deaf people are saying “no thanks and go away!” to cochlear implants.
What is a good solution? I don’t know. For sure, I have learned that arguing and fighting did not get me anywhere. Educating over and over again did help (I had to make sure I remember to smile!) Boring and repetitive, yes, but so far, it is working…
Moreover, society becomes much more accepting of people with disabilities when others see that deaf people can actually work like anyone else.
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Your blog post was signposted to me by a friend who emailed me to say that he immediately thought of my situation in work. Every job I’ve had I’ve encountered problems with being deaf and issues of communication. Like you I speak and don’t sound ‘deaf’. In my last full time employment I was severely bullied to extent I went through a grievance procedure. The whole process was hell and it was all sided even ‘independent’ investigation was done by a hearing person who decided there was no deaf discrimination despite clear evidence (being shouted at, told I was ignoring people talking to me (i couldnt see them to lipread) and deliberate isolation by putting sound proof barriers so high between the desks I couldn’t see anyone any more. Like you I’m an entrepreneur there is no way I could work for an organisation again. Hang in there you are totally in the right. If social media had been around like it is now as in 2008 I’d have gone public cos that would have taken the power away from them. That isn’t everyone’s choice or option. I now work in the digital sector and believe it or not it’s great and people ask questions and get it. Remember you are not alone likewise I do act more deaf at times as know my voice doesn’t sound deaf even though I have severe/profound hearing loss on both ears. It was lottery music to my ears to read you had same annoyance that having hearing aids as great as the digital ones are doesn’t make you hearing. Keep blogging you have great stuff to say
Alison
I love reading your post. I think it is fine that you express your own emotion regarding to disability discrimination in the workplace. This is true that there is always disability discrimination since this is how we live. We survive of that way of living. As just don’t know why this sort of discrimination is created.
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It is really hard to blend to our society right now most especially if there is social discrimination.
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Dear Dave,
Before you accuse your previous employer of refusing to work with you, or consider any legal action regarding disability discrimination, I think I better let you know that Willy Street Coop had me come to their store on July 25th to provide their staff with information on the impact of hearing loss. I did two 1 1/2 hour trainings for staff and managers on the problems people with hearing loss face and some accomodations that would be helpful in making life easier for persons with hearing loss. It required two days of my time, a 400 mile round trip, a motel overnight and meals on the road which I happily donated. Both Willy Street and I were willing to work on your behalf. It is my feeling that there are staff members, customers and family members of the staff that will benefit from the training. I’m sorry that you are no longer there to benefit.
Dave, I want you to know that there are people in this world that care about you and that are willing to go the extra mile for your benefit.
Love,
Ruth Ann
LOL…I had to laugh and pinch myself that their is actually a person out there in the same situation as me. I applied for a job as a stocker at Sephora during the Christmas season of 2011. I filled out the application beautifully and turned in the application. The manager obviously saw my hearing aids and made her assumption then and there. The job was for midnights (I wouldn’t have to talk to hearing people) and it was for stocking the shelves. And I will willing to drive a long ways for that job. I have and had made fruitless attempts in applying for jobs but never got one phone call. VR had asked me why I couldn’t find a job when I replied that no one wants to hire a deaf person. I requested her to find me a job making 30K a year and I would shut up forever. Guess what…VR never found the job and sugguested that I work at a fast food place. Kind of tells you where we are in this place as disabled minorities? I could point the finger to all the hearing people in the world…the bottom line is…I cannot change my deafness, and you did hire me because you thought I could do the job. I can do the job…you just gave up when it becomes a little too much work trying to communicate with me. Don’t assume something at what you cannot see.
Im a manager at a fast food place..my dars councler has no idea how imdoing it….its almost impossible tohear….i would love a job that requires less hearing….my hearing is used against me every day
Good way of explaining, and nice post to take
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