I don’t like identifying as a victim, but Deaf are indeed economically disadvantaged. Even with the ADA, employers still prefer good communication skills in their hires. I used to try to hide my disability, so I wouldn’t be judged thereby having my chances of getting a job diminished. But I realized that when people don’t know who I am, they can’t communicate well with me. Let alone ME know who I AM! This is why I am angry: AGBell created social environment that permeates Audiology departments even to this day that is Audistic (encourages speaking and listening over sign language). This resulted in me being denied access to Deaf peers and mentors. This resulted in me being denied ASL, a language that I’d have complete access to. This resulted in me being mainstreamed in a school with only hearing kids and I had to pretend to hear to fit in. Soon this led to self-confusion. I am still trying to know myself because I still am learning How to be Deaf.
So, I’ve come to learn about myself that I don’t like being in groups where the conversation is not face to face. I always miss the first few words when ever someone starts talking and I’m not lipreading. It is so exhausting to socialize when I am expected to participate with HearingPeople. Being that deafness is “invisible disease”, people can’t understand why you can’t walk up the stairs when they can’t see the wheelchair. So face to face with good lighting and minimal background noise is really the only way I can hear people.
I have a part-time driving job where my interactions are minimal. Anything that is spoken to me I can pretty much guess because the job is so simple. Pick this up and deliver it. I’d drive full-time but the road noise bothers my ears. I have “noise-recruitment”, which is when hair cells pick up frequencies for neighboring hair cells that are missing. So, perversely, some frequencies actually are perceived to be from 2 to 8 times as loud. So I don’t hear some frequencies and others are too loud. Yeah its fucked up. I don’t fully understand it, and most regular people sure as hell don’t. Anyway, so my jobs are really limited. I was in real estate but I don’t care about that anymore. I want to be a “Deaf Artist”. I’m not sure what that means exactly, but whatever.
Well this leads me into the second half of my post about Social Media Identity. I first blogged about coffee, then Holographic Universe (wrote book about it), then about discovering my Deafhood (my second book). Now I’m starting to Vlog. But I got off Facebook for the most part because it became too Leftist/Liberal for me. On the one hand I identified with the victim mindset minorities because, well, I’m deaf. But on the other hand, I believe we each as individuals can contribute to society in our own way and not depend on government to provide welfare state. Some people need help, in fact, I applied for Disability Benefits, because I’m “legally deaf”, whatever that means. It was denied. When I got fired from a job for not hearing my name over the P.A., I filed a Disability Discrimination claim with the EEOC, but they found no probable cause. I was also denied Unemployment Benefits from that employer.
So I felt kicked out and kicked more when I was down. And the fucking government who claims to protect me, an ‘underprivileged class’, failed to do so, I decided that only I can secure my future. So long story short, I trust only in my willingness to provide value, not in the representation of that commodity transacted (money, or others to circulate it to me). The only thing I can control is MY GIVING. Victim minded people look outside themselves to government as daddy or husband, instead of looking within, where the True Power lies. Anyway, i get into some of that in my book, “Holographic Universe: Law of Attraction & Money”.
But my social media participation ended on Facebook, when i started questioning the value of claiming to be a victim. It all started with questioning feminism. My friends began to attack me as if I hated women. No, I just don’t like the narrative of power struggle because it claims that “Power” is not held within. Feminists have a DISempowering narrative. They create fear of men to drive women to the “protection” of The State. The Democrats destroy the family to get more votes. I disagree with the notion that women are victims from men, they are victims from feminism! I also disagree with idea of white privilege, because my current financial statement doesn’t reflect that. So I’m on twitter now where I can explore these ideas better. It was difficult to realize that most of my friends were left-wing and saw me as the bad guy (cis-gendered, straight, white male).
Oh well. I guess they weren’t my real friends and it is good to know that. I have more integrity now that I am true to how I really feel.